Back when I was a left-wing statists I use to listen to NPR and A Prairie Home Companion. Then I became a right-wing statists and stopped listening to NPR. Except when I needed a laugh.
I still listened to A Prairie Home Companion because it had some good moments. And some bad moments. And because Garrison Keillor is a good story teller.
Of course telling stories has nothing to do with reality and everything to do with fake news.
Garrison Keillor has talent.
That talent does not extend to political, social, economic or philosophical reasoning. Nor to logic. Nor to critical thinking.
I talked about Keillor’s deranged ranting, hamster wheel logic, and Mongoloid status in Stating The Obvious 0388 – Garrison Keillor, a Liberal Elitist Mongoloid, Hates White People Who Voted For Trump.
And now it’s time to officially add Garrison to the Basket Of Inferiors.
If you want to read Garrison’s latest delusional screams you can find them at this link:
But you can only read the most recent delusional word salads because when you click on the “load next posts” button at the bottom of the page it doesn’t load any more posts. You stay on the same page. Garrison’s web site is broken. Probably the Russian’s hacked it.
At the time I’m writing this Garrison has such gems as these available.
So many Trumpists have written in since the election, and I am grateful for their interest and also impressed by the sheer variety of their profanity. I never learned to swear that well because by the time my mother died, at 97, it was too late for me to learn.
It’s too late for him to learn? This explains why he can’t outgrown statism and the religions of global warming and hating white men.
It is hard to believe that the Creator of our universe with its billions of galaxies could have sent Himself to this little blue blip not so long ago in the form of an infant born to a virgin, to be first worshiped by illiterate shepherds where He lay in a feed trough, livestock peering down at Him, Eastern potentates following a star to the site. But here we are again, singing those songs, so we shall see.
Islam however is the religion of peace, is completely logically consistent, and should not only never be criticised but encouraged.
I’ve been down in South Carolina and Georgia, an old Northern liberal in red states, enjoying a climate like April in January and the hospitality of gracious, soft-spoken people, many of whom voted for He Who Does Not Need Intelligence, but they didn’t bring it up, so neither did I.
They didn’t bring it up because they won. You remember winning right? It’s that thing you didn’t do in 2016.
The Constitution does not allow 13-year-olds to become president and after last week we can see why. The Boy President proudly holding his latest executive order up for the cameras, to show that he knows right-side-up from upside-down. Bringing his Supreme Court nominee onstage (“So was that a surprise? Was it?”) Hanging up on the prime minister of Australia. His homage to Frederick Douglass (“someone who’s done an amazing job”) for Black History Month. Twittering about the “so-called judge” who stopped the Muslim travel ban. Pictured in full smirk at the National Prayer Breakfast, preening, bloviating (“In towns all across our land, it’s plain to see what we easily forget — so easily we forget this, that the quality of our lives is not defined by our material success, but by our spiritual success”) on a scale of bloviation equal to Warren G. Harding and the great gasbags of the 19th century. You think, let the man be president but please don’t put him in charge of the Weather Service or Amtrak or the TSA.
Frederick Douglass. Not the “right kind” of black person?
Yes Garrison. We know. You lost in 2016. You can stop reminding us.
On to the main show.
On 18 October, 2016 this was published.
Next stop for Donald Trump: Nebraska?
By Garrison Keillor October 18, 2016
Nothing lets the world know you are incompetent like getting it wrong in the title.
This election is winding down, thank heaven, and barring a bombshell backstage video in which Hillary Clinton is heard talking about how she loves to stroll into a men’s room and let out a whoop and yank the waistbands of men at the urinals and yell “Snuggies!” the outcome is in sight, and finally we’ll be done with Nate Silver and Politico and RealClearPolitics and the ranting and raving on YouTube and the borderline-psycho posts on Facebook by people we wish we weren’t related to, and we can get back to real life.
Ha. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yup. Barring a backstage video. Or Eight Years Of Calling White People Racist there is no way Hillary could lose. She does after all have a cunt. And having a cunt makes her “the most qualified person to ever run for President.”
The bitterness of it has been exhausting. The “issues” were piffle and mishegoss; there was zero illumination; the election was all about hostility. The ugly billionaire nitwit versus the Babylonian antichrist. The Trumpites stuck with him despite his hopelessness because his candidacy gave the New York Times fits, and the Hillareans stuck with her because the alternative was him.
At least Garrison owns up to the fact that the Democrats “stuck with” Hillary only because she was the person the Democrat party ran for president. After they Ron Paul’ed the fuck out of Bernie Sanders. Bernie probably would have given the Trumpenfuhrer more competition. But hatred of white men won out over winning the election.
For which I am greatful.
So here we are, loathing each other. Too bad, but we are a righteous people and we need to have someone to loathe.
Yes Garrison. You do hate white men. And we hate you back.
Look at the English language. The words that express peaceful harmony are so few, so pale, so flaccid, while the words that express disgust, dismay, revulsion comprise a vast and delicious vocabulary. “You’ve got bubblegum for brains, you jackass, you are so average, did you eat dumb flakes for breakfast? Go sit on your thumb, you feeb, you nincompoop, you fathead” — it goes on and on and on. Shakespeare is loaded with insult from our rich Anglo-Saxon heritage. It’s a language for people who don’t like each other. You want harmony, go talk Sanskrit.
Notice how every time Democrats lose (reminder: like they lost in 2016) they can’t shut the fuck up about wanting harmony and to work together and to come together. When they win it’s all about their mandate and everyone else needs to shut the fuck up.
So here we are, bilious and consternated, and in three weeks, it all comes to an end. Apparently, Donald Trump will not call up Clinton on election night and offer her congratulations. He may file a lawsuit instead. His followers will be encouraged to believe that the election was rigged by Wall Street hedge-fund managers in cahoots with the vaccine industry, followers of Saul Alinsky and aliens living in Roswell, N.M., but whatever — it will be over. The shouting will die down. The “Lock her up” T-shirts will go into the bottom drawer. Families will gather for Thanksgiving and bite their tongues and avoid eye contact. There will be Christmas. The inauguration will take place, and Barack and Michelle Obama and the girls will go to their new home and get out the Scrabble board and pop a kettle of popcorn. And next spring the 2020 campaign will begin.
And there it is. Garrison predicts exactly what the SJWs and left-wing statists did upon losing (did I mention lately that Hillary lost the election?) the election.
- Hillary didn’t want to give a concession speech.
- Hillary’s minions think Russia hacked the election.
- The communist party candidate called for a recount.
- The “Love Trumps Hate” t-shits have vanished from sight even here in the massively left wing People’s Republic of Fort Collins.
This paragraph is one of the most perfect examples of projection you will ever see. Garrison knew exactly how he would behave (like a child) if Trump won the Presidency. Thus Garrison projects his behaviour upon everyone else.
I worry about Trump. What is he going to do? He has damaged his brand. The steaks, ties, home furnishings, fragrances, whiskey, resorts, condos, golf-club memberships — when you associate yourself with white supremacy, male chauvinism and invincible ignorance, this is not smart marketing. He can’t go back to Trump Tower. Manhattan is about 84 percent Democratic. Why live among people who don’t appreciate you and ride around in a black limo with smoked-glass windows through crowds of pedestrians giving you the finger? It’s no way to live.
Oh look. Attention trolling.
Why live amongst people who don’t appreciate you? Same reason I live in the People’s Republic of Fort Collins. Being surrounded by inferior people has disadvantages. Yet also advantages.
Does the man have friends? Or only associates? This is the big question. Is Sean Hannity really and truly his friend? Or Howard Stern? Or Rudy Giuliani? Do they go out for lunch and tell jokes about the two blondes who went to the drive-in theater in February to see “Closed for the Season”? I doubt this.
Oh look. Attention trolling.
He should pick up his traps and move to Nebraska. Not long ago, he was leading in Nebraska by about 2 to 1. There are wonderful, warmhearted people there who love and admire him, so he would fit right in. Look at Broken Bow, a town of 4,000 on Highway 2 in Custer County. He could get a nice three-bedroom place there for $150K. There’s a municipal airport, a hospital. The restaurants are good if you like beef. You can play golf from May through September and after that you can use a fluorescent orange ball and play in the snow. He’d be far away from the New York Times. Trump could make Broken Bow great, put marble floors and walls in the public school, put up a marble statue of George Armstrong Custer. He could attend a good evangelical Christian church every Sunday and go to Bible reading Wednesday night where maybe he can learn more about those two Corinthians. He’d need to be careful about touching women suddenly without permission, though, because many of them are armed. If he grabbed one down there, she might cut him a new buttonhole. Even if she were a Christian.
Oh look. Attention trolling. And personal insults.
Wow. Such philosophy. Much mature.
Then the Trumpening took place.
Hillary was humiliated on international television and the interwebz by one of the few true Alpha Males to run for President.
And Garrison did what all SJWs do when they are wrong. On 9 November, 2016 he doubled down on hating white men.
Trump Voters Will Not Like What Happens Next
He is still projecting his feelings on other people.
They can’t stop doing this.
I’m not a Trump “supporter” and even I like seeing the Trumpenfuhrer melt snowflakes.
So he won. The nation takes a deep breath. Raw ego and proud illiteracy have won out, and a severely learning-disabled man with a real character problem will be president. We are so exhausted from thinking about this election, millions of people will take up leaf-raking and garage cleaning with intense pleasure. We liberal elitists are wrecks. The Trumpers had a whale of a good time, waving their signs, jeering at the media, beating up protesters, chanting “Lock her up” — we elitists just stood and clapped. Nobody chanted “Stronger Together.” It just doesn’t chant.
A severely learning-disabled man? You mean retarded? Is a fucking actual social retard with a deformed face calling a billionaire with a hot wife who just became the most powerful human on Earth a retard?
I wonder if any pussy hat wearing cunts are going to chat and waive signs? Oh but wait, they hate white men. And it’s not hate if you hate white men.
Best line: “We are so exhausted from thinking…” Yes. Thinking is exhausting. That’s why you left-wing statists do so little of it.
The Trumpers never expected their guy to actually win the thing, and that’s their problem now. They wanted only to whoop and yell, boo at the H-word, wear profane T-shirts, maybe grab a crotch or two, jump in the RV with a couple of six-packs and go out and shoot some spotted owls. It was pleasure enough for them just to know that they were driving us wild with dismay — by “us,” I mean librarians, children’s authors, yoga practitioners, Unitarians, bird-watchers, people who make their own pasta, opera-goers, the grammar police, people who keep books on their shelves, that bunch. The Trumpers exulted in knowing we were tearing our hair out. They had our number, like a bratty kid who knows exactly how to make you grit your teeth and froth at the mouth.
You Trump voters never expected him to win.
Ha ha ha.
I didn’t expect Trump to win. However I had a reason for that. It’s because the parasites outnumber the producers. We see that in the election results. Hillary Cuntin got more votes in the popular vote. Because there are more parasites than producers. That’s just a fact.
By the way Garrison you fucking mongoloid retarded fool I practice yoga. Don’t lump me in with you left-wing fucktards. Generalizing is racist, sexist and homophobic. You fucking fag.
Alas for the Trump voters, the disasters he will bring on this country will fall more heavily on them than anyone else. The uneducated white males who elected him are the vulnerable ones, and they will not like what happens next.
Yes. You Trump supporters are just so stupid. It’s “uneducated” white men who voted for Trump.
Note that almost everyone who voted for Trump has graduated from high school. Garrison admits that high school is not education. Keep this in mind when you read Garrison’s last paragraph.
White men always have “disasters” of government fall more heavily on them because it’s white men who do all the real work and pay all the taxes.
To all the patronizing B.S. we’ve read about Trump expressing the white working-class’s displacement and loss of the American Dream, I say, “Feh!” — go put your head under cold water. Resentment is no excuse for bald-faced stupidity. America is still the land where the waitress’s kids can grow up to become physicists and novelists and pediatricians, but it helps a lot if the waitress and her husband encourage good habits and the ambition to use your God-given talents and the kids aren’t plugged into electronics day and night. Whooping it up for the candidate of cruelty and ignorance does less than nothing for your kids.
“Feh” is now a logical argument. Right up there with “Wow. Just wow.” and “Patriarchy!”
What does Trump have to do with kids being plugged into electronics day and night? How about the parents do some parenting? Oh wait, expecting a single mother to spend time parenting her filthy spawn is sexist. My mistake.
We liberal elitists are now completely in the clear. The government is in Republican hands. Let them deal with him. Democrats can spend four years raising heirloom tomatoes, meditating, reading Jane Austen, traveling around the country, tasting artisan beers, and let the Republicans build the wall and carry on the trade war with China and deport the undocumented and deal with opioids, and we Democrats can go for a long, brisk walk and smell the roses.
You are indeed in the clear. Now if you would just shut the fuck up. You lost. Remember the losing you did in 2016? Or has that slipped your mind already?
I like Republicans. I used to spend Sunday afternoons with a bunch of them, drinking Scotch and soda and trying to care about NFL football. It was fun. I tried to think like them. (Life is what you make it. People are people. When the going gets tough, tough noogies.) But I came back to liberal elitism.
And some of my best friends have been Googles.
Don’t be cruel. Elvis said it, and it’s true. We all experienced cruelty back in our playground days — boys who beat up on the timid, girls who made fun of the homely and naive — and most of us, to our shame, went along with it, afraid to defend the victims lest we become one of them. But by your 20s, you should be done with cruelty. Mr. Trump was the cruelest candidate since George Wallace. How he won on fear and bile is for political pathologists to study. The country is already tired of his noise, even his own voters. He is likely to become the most intensely disliked president since Herbert Hoover. His children will carry the burden of his name. He will never be happy in his own skin. But the damage he will do to our country — who knows? His supporters voted for change, and boy, are they going to get it.
Another slip of the hamster wheel. Why are SJWs SJWs? Because of childhood trauma they were never able to let go of.
Garrison and 63 million other social retards voted for Hillary because they still haven’t recovered from the childhood trauma of having the shit kicked out of their sissy asses on the playground. Now they devote their life to virtue signalling and defending victims. Desperate to become victims themselves.
Back to real life. I went up to my home town the other day and ran into my gym teacher, Stan Nelson, looking good at 96. He commanded a landing craft at Normandy on June 6, 1944, and never said a word about it back then, just made us do chin-ups whether we wanted to or not. I saw my biology teacher Lyle Bradley, a Marine pilot in the Korean War, still going bird-watching in his 90s. I was not a good student then, but I am studying both of them now. They have seen it all and are still optimistic. The past year of politics has taught us absolutely nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada. The future is scary. Let the uneducated have their day. I am now going to pay more attention to teachers.
I love when rich liberal elitist talk about “real life”.
And since when did liberals glorify military personnel. Oh that’s right, as soon as Hussein Obama, the half black President, first affirmative action President and second coming of Jesus starting killing Muslim with missiles launched from flying robots.
Pay more attention to teachers?
Garrison Keillor. Social retard. Mental retard. Liberal elitist. Victim card player. Physically deformed mongoloid. Or maybe he’s not deformed. Just really fucking ugly.
Welcome to the basket snowflake. Enjoy your stay.
Do you know someone who should be placed in the Basket Of Inferiors? Leave a comment below telling me who and why. I’ll look into it. It’s a big basket and there is plenty of room in there.