At that time most of you were still sperm cells.
"When I saw the dead and dying Afghani children on TV, I felt a newly recovered sense of national security. God Bless America." --Katie Sierra
05 FEB 04: Pissed off because they didn't think of it first: Well if you haven't heard by now, there's a new bill in town. The Academic Bill or Rights. Like all the people who have opinions about this bill, I haven't read it. Unlike all the people who have opinions about this bill I'm not going to pretend I have read it. From what I gather however, based on the hysteria coming for the socialist left, this is an attempt by conservatives to: 1. Get some Republican (note the upper case 'R') in jobs as college professors. 2. Protect conservative/Republican students from getting bad grades from their communist teachers based on their political beliefs.
The left is, naturally, having fits. They are conjuring up all the usual ghost and goblins.
The CU College Republicans (Republicans at CU, land of the dirty fucking hippies, there is a concept) have started a web site where you can report a teacher for giving you a bad grade or flunking you due to your political beliefs. I don't have the URL handy, but I will post it when I can. This has been likened to "MaCarthyism" and "blacklisting" even tho there isn't actually a list of these professors to be found on the web site, and in spite of the fact that (as we have learned with the opening of the KGB files) that MaCarthy was right. There were a lot of communist spies in the government. The people in the entertainment industry of course were communist, but not spies. They were just stupid. Besides only stupid people get their ideology from movies anyhow. The left really needs to move on. "Blacklist" and "MaCarthyism" are so . . . 50 years ago. These people are like comedians who tell the same joke over and over and over.
Another observation from the educated left is that if this passes no one will be able to discuss "controversial" events or ideas in class. Yea, that would be terrible. Oh wait. . . We already can't discuss controversial topics in class. I can come up with a whole list of things that can't be talked about in class. In fact, here is a test. Take any of the essays/rants I have written, print them out, then go try to read them in one of your classes. I bet you will not make it one tenth of the way thru. The idea that college class rooms are places where "free speech" takes place is something only believed by people who have never been in a college class room.
Being a libertarian, I am inclined to be opposed to bills like this (whatever it is, since I haven't actually read it) but in this case I support it for two reasons:
1. Anything that pisses of liberals has got to be a good thing.
2. Liberals have been oppressing my speech for years. In fact, liberals created the political climate in which oppressing speech you don't like is PC. I say let 'em get a taste of their own shit.
Realistically speaking, I don't think this is going to pass. Not because the people are too smart to pass it, but because they are too dumb to pass it. Besides, if you go to college you need to realize something. Of course most of your teachers are liberals. Liberals gravitate to jobs like teaching just as conservatives gravitate to jobs like accounting. It's a lack of intelligence thing. Remember, those who can -- do, those who can't -- teach, those too stupid to teach go into administration, management and politics.
Let's say that you think King George II is the bomb. Your socialist teacher thinks King William was the bomb. What do you do? You don't whine and cry and pass laws. You nod your head and smile. Write whatever the dumb bitch in front of the class want's you to write. I think the biggest problem here is that people in college think that what they do in college matters. New flash. No one gives a hill of shit. When the class is over you are going to forget most of it anyhow. Smile and nod. Nod and smile. This is the most useful thing you can learn in college because this is what you will spend most of your life doing. Especially if you ever get a job, which is sort of the whole point of college. You are either going to spend your life dealing with stupid people, or you are going to be one of the stupid people. Either way, just smile and nod. Nod and smile.
The political opinions of teachers are not going to "influence" what students think. Three days after the final most students don't even remember what class they took, much less what the teacher might have said in that class.
31 JAN 04: Crisis out of control: Well, wasn't that just a disaster. One cow with mad cow disease, and the damn thing came from Canada. For all the whining in the media and the hysteria from the animal rights & vegetarian wackos you would have thought we were all going to drop dead instantly. The Fort Collins Weekly headlined it as "the biggest PR crisis management campaign since Big Tobacco" thus over looking 8 years of King William, the "discovery" that the media has a liberal bias and their own stupidity at Fort Collins Weekly. I don't know a single person who stopped eating beef. I don't know a single person who said they were worried. The only "crisis" was the crisis in the media when they discovered they couldn't "milk" anymore out of this dead cow . . .
29 JAN 04: Ah, for the good old days: A recent study done by the Harvard Civil Rights Project (there is a front for the CPUSA if I ever saw one) has found that high school segregation has returned to the same level it was at the time of MLKs assassination in 1968. This study was concluded just in time to ride the wave of publicity that goes with MLK Day, thus showing that the folks at the HCRP understand marketing. What this really has to do with anything? Well, I'm not sure. But the usual accusations are being made. Racism of course. The "white" schools have more money and kids can't learn without money. We all know that no one can read a book without a large amount of money which has been taken away from evil, rich white people.
The report, in part, blames this on the decision in the 1991 case Dowell vs. Oklahoma City in which the Supreme Court authorized a return to neighborhood schools instead of continuing to require bussing students around to achieve the much desired "racial diversity". Those damned evil Republicans. It must all be Reagan's fault. Instead of letting children go to school where they live we should ship them around like cattle? Yea, there is a great idea. Isn't the public school system degrading enough as it is with ID cards, guards and metal detectors -- not to mention the mind numbing curriculum.
28 JAN 04: And we wonder why the children are stupid: "I met a girl there [a college he was visiting] who was a criminal justice major whose older sister was murdered. When we started talking about capital punishment, she said she had no idea there was actually material supporting capital punishment because her professor had never presented any. That's not right." David Horowitz said that, and he's right, it isn't right. But not totally for the reason he believes. Horowitz formed Students for Academic Freedom, and organization which has the purpose of getting the liberal bias out of the classroom. Granted I think this is a worthy goal. I don't want to take a class and hear some idiot talking about the evils of King George II. Especially if it's a biology class or something. Certainly at some point in her college education this girl should have been exposed to material supporting capital punishment in her classes.
But. You knew there was a but . . . Here's a thought. Maybe it's equally her own fault (not just that of her communist teachers) because she should not mindlessly believe everything she hears in a classroom and in fact should be doing independent research. The fact that she is in college and is not aware of pro capital punishment literature does not mean her professors are commies (even tho they are). It means that public education is a failure and this girl is a total idiot. She's also a future lawyer. And we wonder what is wrong with the system.
27 JAN 04: And how is this different? Stacey Schneider writes a column in the Collegian titled "The Whine Cellar". Talk about an easy target. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Anyhow the whine today is thus: Now it is possible to determine the gender of your baby before it is conceived. It's not that hard, there are in fact already a couple of ways this can be done. But that is not the point. Here is the point. Whine girl says:
". . . sex selection allows scientist to start taking on a God-like role."
"In addition, having a baby should not be like choosing a car. Couples should not be able to decide on a car (the baby) and select the different options (the sex). These procedure treat babies as if they are material products and just prove that nothing is sacred form consumerism anymore."
So . . . If you get pregnant, it's a boy and you want a girl, and you abort it -- that's fine. But if you simply make sure you get a girl to begin with that is evil?
Deciding what gender you want your child to be is materialism, but aborting the child because it would interfere with your school (future money making ability), job (current money making ability) or social life (money spending ability) is not materialism?
This clearly ranks as one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Women are constantly whining about being able to "control their bodies" (get abortions which are paid for by the government). Seems to me this is just women controlling their bodies. For the record, I totally favor this type of procedure. Just wait until you can select the eye colour, height and weight of your baby before it's born. The freedom loving Feminazies are going to go insane.
26 JAN 04: Things that are really important: Britney Spears and Madonna did not kiss at a French music awards show. That's right, they *did not* kiss. You can go back to your unimportant lives now, and your concern for selfish, trivial matters like the American occupation of Iraq.
26 JAN 04: Just what we need: The New Voters Project has been created to get more people 18 to 24 years old voting. Just what we need. More stupid people participating in the political process.
25 JAN 04: I feel safer already: As reported in the Denver Post: A Denver-bound woman passed through security at LaGuardia Airport, deplaned in Detroit for a short time, then got on the second leg of her flight to DIA. When the flight was most of the way to Denver she reached in her purse and discovered . . . The knife and stun gun. The woman gave them to a flight attendant (PC for stewardess) who notified the captain of the plane. He told DIA and they had the pigs show up. "We never considered her a threat" said Laura Bennett, a spokeswoman (PC for spokesman) for Spirit Airlines. That's why they called the police I suppose. Or maybe the police wanted some tips on how to get past airport security with weapons. I'm guessing the TSA didn't consider her a threat either?
23 JAN 04: Stating the obvious: Shocking news in today's Collegian. Hooters hires women based partially on their looks. No way! Actually, I remember Hooters when the girls wore the orange shorts, owl t-shirts and the food was good. I tried Hooters just a few days ago. The service was prompt, but not what I call friendly. The food was very average. Not bad, but not good. Just average. I don't think I'll be back. Snotty but hot chycks wearing too much makeup who bring me average tasting food just don't cut it.
22 JAN 04: The Emperor is naked department: Here at CSU we have a professor named Thomas Sutherland. Sutherland is famous you see. So there are a lot of lips on his dick. Not mine however. Above the fold in today's Collegian: "When Thomas Sutherland, 72, sent President George W. Bush a letter against the war in Iraq, he was speaking from experience. How much? Two thousand three hundred fifty four days of experience to be exact." In a companion piece we were informed that Sutherland favors gun control because of his experience as a hostage.
Now, let me get some things out of the way for the stupid people. Sutherland survived being a hostage for 2,354 days and I can respect that. I don't know the man personally, even tho he has acted at Bas Bleu (the theatre where I do tech work).
But. . . You knew there was a but. Let's be honest.
Being held hostage does not make you a foreign policy expert. In fact, let's think about this. He willingly went to Beirut knowing that Americans were hated there, and in fact confesses he never thought it would happen to him. I will submit that going to a country filled with people who hate you and allowing yourself to be taken hostage makes you stupid, not smart. There is no way in hell I would take political advice from this guy.
Where does the gun control come in? So, if we had gun control in American then he wouldn't have been taken hostage?
Also mentioned was how his experience as a hostage made him appreciate cultural diversity. It totally sickens me the way liberals throw that "diversity" shit into every thing they say. What the fuck does being held hostage have to do with cultural diversity. "Look, I took a shit. I really promoted cultural diversity!"
The Emperor is totally fucking naked and his dick is in your mouth.
21 JAN 04: The final frontier: When I first heard the King George II wants to go to the Moon & Mars I thought it was a joke. Turns out not so. I'm all in favor or a Moon base and a Mars trip. In fact, I think the Moon base should come before the space station. However, I am not in favor of the Moon/Mars missions and a War on Drugs (TM) and a War on Terror and a War on Freedom and an Empire America. We should kill those programs and go for the Moon/Mars thingy. Alone. None of this international shit like with the space station (joke that it is). Of course, that will not happen. And of course there is that little problem of the deficit and the nonexistent economy. Oh well. No one is going to cut spending, and you youngsters can pay for it all, so in the end I say let's go to Mars. I'm throwing my support behind this one. Screw the future generations and their tax/debt burden.
21 JAN 04: How to lie with statistics 101: In the paper today was the endless whining: 1 in 5 high school females report facing dating violence, every 15 seconds a woman is battered, every 45 seconds a woman is sexually assaulted. This is bullshit, and I'm here to tell you why. How do we know this? Because we have 24 hour surveillance on every person in the America? No, not yet anyway. I'm sure that is King George IIs' wet dream however. Because we ask women if they have been assaulted, raped or battered and they answer and we make up statistics based on these answers. The problem is, the answers to these questions are skewed.
1. The people asking these questions are going to ask them of groups of people more likely to give the answer being sought.
2. Women who think all this "1 out of 5 women in college have been raped" shit is, well, shit, are less likely to participate and thus skew the findings.
3. Women who are Feminazies are more likely to participate in these studies, and further are more likely to lie and say they have been abused, raped, assaulted, blah blah blah even when they haven't simply to pump up the numbers.
You can never walk into a room full of women and say "how many women here have been raped" and get 1 out of 5 of them to raise their hands. The Feminazies will tell you this is because of the "stigma of being a rape victim" and because "women don't have the courage to stand up for themselves" (they are wimps?) and "they don't realize they have been raped because of the male dominated culture & media" (meaning they are stupid). I would suggest the reason you can't find a room full of women in which 1 out of 5 has been raped is because it's simply not true. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe the Feminazies are right. Maybe women are stupid, helpless wimps.
21 JAN 04: Talk about stating the obvious: Ok, there have been some amazing discoveries in the new lately.
1. A scientific study has found evidence that if you do exercise, you will lose weight. I'm serious. Not only that, but hold on to your hat, the study found that the people who did the most exercise lost the most weight.
2. Another scientific study found that if you sleep it helps you to think better and is conductive to problem solving. I am not making this up.
3. Right here in Colorado, Denver in fact, the teachers at Sheridan Middle School found that boys and girls learn better in single-gender classes.
Next up, scientific evidence that the sun is in fact large, round, hot and far away.
20 JAN 04: Do as I say, not as I do: CSU is back in session, and with it comes The Collegian, the CSU student newspaper. Thank the Gods. The editorial page of this publication is a never ending source on entertainment. Nothing gets the mind working better than reading the thoughts of 19 year old children who think they know how to solve the problems of the world (usually by taxing the rich or hating Republicans oddly enough).
The first issue kicked off with coverage of MLK day and a photo of Fort Collins Mayor Lil Ray-ray and the president of CSU Larry Penley leading a one-mile march to honor Martin Luther King, Jr.
Now, Lil Ray-ray is an interesting character. You see, there is talk here in the "choice city" of a law making it illegal for the police to target minorities because they are minorities. I assume people of Arabic decent will be excluded, but don't know that for a fact. Anyhow, a local rag the Bullhorn, ran an editorial comic showing Lil Ray-ray (a Mexican-American, or whatever the PC name for them is this week) being pulled over and harassed by a pig, sorry police officer. In the comic Lil Ray-ray was trying to tell the pig that he was the mayor, but the pig didn't believe him. The comic of course was to support the bill against targeting minorities. Of course no one has the balls to point out that we don't need a law against targeting people because of their skin colour. Why? Well, because there is no reason for the pigs to be targeting people based on skin colour in the first place, so why would they do it? We spend a lot of time in this town, the "choice city", talking about how Fort Collins is not racist. Well, if it's not racist, why do we need this law? Why are the pigs targeting people of colour (look, I used PC terminology). Simply put, since there is no law telling pigs to target people because of skin colour, the pigs should not do so. If they do, the pigs should be unemployed. The great thing about this law however is that it will allow the police to say "of course it doesn't happen, it's against the law" while still doing it. The law is more for the dishonest to hide behind than it is to protect the honest.
But, I digress. Back to Lil Ray-ray. He saw the editorial cartoon in the Bullhorn and got massively offended. I seems he was too stupid to understand the comic was editorializing in favor of the law and against racism. In fact, he has one of his employes write a two page letter to the Bullhorn, which he signed and claimed as his own. In this letter not only did he show that he was too stupid to understand the cartoon, but he also showed his stupidity in other ways. Like most politicians he can't really form thoughts of his own, so he quoted the First Amendment (and tried to pretend he understands it), Ghandi, MLK, Mother Theresa and Cesar Chavez. He make reference to what a great job the Coloradoan does of "building public awareness of the cultural richness of our community", in other words, kissing Lil Ray-ray's ass. He then, with his true understanding of the First Amendment, threatened the Bullhorn in thinly veiled ways. I would imagine you can find the original cartoon, Lil Ray-ray's letter and The Bullhorn's responses at their website, www.rockymountainbullhorn.com.
Lil Ray-ray stated that the Bullhorn "implies categorical assertions that the mayor is an illegal immigrant, that he drives a Mercedes Benz . . ." The cartoon did not imply that Lil Ray-ray was an illegal. Also, I have to confess I was not aware that driving a Benz was considered insulting. What the cartoon implied was that the pigs would pull people over for their skin colour, not caring or knowing who they are. While Lil Ray-ray's understanding of the cartoon was limited by his stupidity, the person who drew the cartoon was also limited by stupidity. I submit that Lil Ray-ray would never be pulled over in the "choice city" as every pig in town knows his car & face. Fort Collins is like most cities in one way, there are two kinds of pigs in town. Pigs who kiss the ass of the mayor and his friends, and pigs who are unemployed.
What does this have to do with the MLK march? Simple. If you are not racist, or if you are racist, it will be reflected by the way you act towards other people. Remember when you were in high school and there were those boys who always talked about how big their dick were and how many girls they fucked? They did that because they were virgins with 4 inches of flaccid flesh between their legs. Why do the people in the "choice city" spend so much time announcing how "not racist" they are? Because they are racist.
The photo in the Collegian shows the front of the march. The closest person to the camera is a black man. Behind him are nothing but white people. It's the perfect icon for Fort Collins. A bunch of white people using one black man to hide behind.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, the "equality" Lil Ray-ray is in favor of does not apply to smokers, people who own bars and/or restaurants, the Bullhorn or anyone who disagrees with his political beliefs. What a surprise.
10 JAN 04: Pot calling the kettle: "Then we found not one, but two ads on their web page that compared the Preside of the United states to Adolph Hitler, and we fell that that is incredibly inappropriate and offensive and a new low in political discourse." Thus spoke RNC spokesperson (even the evil Republicans use gender neutral PC speak) Christine Iverson about MoveOn.org. What happened to free speech? So now we can't compare King George II to Hitler? What if we do? Will the Homeland Security Gestapo come take us away in the night? Will the Brownshirts from the DEA arrest us? Will the SS boys from the ATF burn down our houses and run over us with tanks? Oh wait, that was King William. Shit, can I in fact be arrested for comparing King George II to King William? And ummm, didn't King George II compare that guy in Iraq to Hitler?
10 JAN 04: The "I don't care enough to investigate" files: So Howard Dean is not the second coming of Jesus any more. It seems he had an emotional outburst or something. I didn't see it. Didn't hear it. I'm not looking for it. I don't care. But here are my points.
1. Dean was like God to these people. Suddenly he is "nothing". He is still the same person he was before, thus showing that he was never the second coming to begin with.
2. Which brings us to this. Since he is no longer the second coming (should that be Second Coming?) what does that say about the sheep who were in his flock? That they are stupid? Gullible? Stupid and gullible? Not to be trusted in a voting booth? Evidently they aren't very good judges of character.
3. What are the Democrats looking for? A robot with no emotion? They ran a robot already. His name was AlGore (one word) and he had the emotional range of a tree. That worked really well. He lost (yes, lost -- would you please fucking get over it) to King George II.
10 JAN 04: Why I still hate liberal, even tho they are calling themselves "progressives": Liberals are still the party of the evil as far as their leadership goes, but more and more they are becoming the party of the stupid as far as their base of support goes. Witness the attempts of the Democrats to hide behind semantics. Their reasoning is that they are so hated, even today when King George II is doing all those crazy things, that they need some way to fly under the bullshit radar and get some votes. So what do they do? They change their name. All around us "progressives" are popping up. Progressive.og, Progressive Magazine, progressive groups meeting in coffee houses like Oak Street Cafe here in Fort Collins. If you examine these people and their beliefs, you will find they are Democrats who either:
A. Lack the balls to admit they are Democrats or
B. Are too stupid to know they are Democrats.
Either way you cut it, the Democrats are drawing on their usual base of support, the weak and stupid.
NOV 03: Just deserts: If you heard about the incident where a white man became angered and shot to death five of his co-workers then I'm sure you heard that four of the people he shot were black. I'm sure you also hear that he was allegedly "racist", which in that day can mean pretty much anything. What you probably didn't hear is that he was sitting in a company mandated sensitivity class when he finally reached his limit, got up, grabbed a shotgun and started killing people. I bet not one of you can extract the proper lesson from this, so I will help you.
If you keep shoving shit down peoples throats, eventually they will gag and then puke all over you.
AUG 03: The Pleasure Nazis in action: In New Zealand (one of the places I was thinking of going to escape the up coming totalitarian regime that will be taking control of the U.S.) the government has important things on it's mind, like freedom. Among the laws they are considering:
Banning minors from eating high-calorie fast food and hamburgers.
Ban minors from soft drinks, sweets and chocolate.
Ban fast food restaurants from operating within 1 kilometer of any school.
Remember folks, once the Pleasure Nazis have eliminated smoking they are going to stop there. Never, ever, no way are they going after anything else after smoking. Just smoking, then they are going to stop. Trust me.
AUG 03: Keeping schools safe: Kyle Fredrikson, 12 years old, stomped in a puddle and splashed some classmates and school officials. For those of us who are normal, this would be funny. In Florida however, the school officials see things differently. Kyle was handcuffed by Deputy Tim Langer and taken to jail. There he was charged with misdemeanor disruption of school activities. Lucky he didn't get charged with being a terrorist.
AUG 03: Everyone is a terrorist if you look hard enough: From the 18th of May issue of the Oakland Tribune : "You can make an easy kind of a link that, if you have a protest group protesting a war where the cause that's being fought against is international terrorism, you might have terrorism at that [protest].... You can almost argue that a protest against that is a terrorist act." Words of wisdom from Mike Van Winkle, spokesman for California's Anti-Terrorism Information Center.
JUL 03: I feel safer already: In April the government passed legislation authorizing almost $80 billion as emergency spending to pay for the war on Iraq. These are some of the expenses in the Emergency Wartime Supplemental Appropriations Act:
$2.9 billion to bail out the airlines
$110 million for the National Animal Disease Center in Ames, Iowa
$65 million to NOAA for geostationary and polar orbing systems
$16 million to study SARS
$15 million to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
$231,000 to a Lutheran ministry in Allentown, Pennsylvania for abstinence education and related services.
There is lots more where that came from, but I only care to type so much. But don't you also feel safer already?
JUL 03: Just ignore science, everyone else does: The British Journal of Medicine has publishe an epidemiological study which concluded that secondhand smoke has little or no effect on people's health. Meanwhile, those who think that secondhand smoke kills have still yet ot produce any scientific evidence that I have seen. You would think that the anti-tobacco Nazis might give it up one day. Let's not pay attention to science or anything. Just keep on living in your fantasy word.
22 JUL 03: Literacy runs wild in the Bush administration. Ari Fleischer (press secretary to King George II) said the following about the accusation that Saddam Hussein tried to buy uranium for his weapons from Africa: "We don't know if it's true, but nobody -- but nobody -- can say it was wrong. That is not known."
What the fuck, over?
JUN 03: The War on Drugs (tm): The Drug Policy Alliance warns that anti-rave legislation "could effectively ban live music and dancing, as well as any other event that might attract someone who would use drugs". They aren't just going after people who use drugs, they are going after anything associated with drugs. I feel more free already.
JUN 03: They just don't get it: Government employees have a certain reputation for being lazy, worthless and stupid. Now that I am a government employee I can say that this is mostly true. Most of the people I work with wouldn't last 3 weeks in the private sector, yet they are able to hold jobs for 20, 30 or more years at CSU. Also they have a talent I have never seen before for abusing sick days and pretending to be injured in order to avoid work. Seems however that it's not just here in the states where we have useless people in the government, but also across the pond.
Employees of Britain's Department of Work and Pensions average 12.9 sick days per year, compared to 6.7 days for workers in the private sector. The minister for work, Nick Brown, says he is troubled by the high number of sick days and may ask that the government declare public sector work a high-risk occupation.
What about declaring public sector work to be full of useless pieces of shit?
JUN 03: The War on Drugs (tm): From the New York Post:
According to NYC's new tobacco law, restaurant and pub proprietors will be subject to fines as high as $2,000 if customers are found smoking tobacco in their establishment. However, if customers are caught smoking marijuana, the restaurateur pays no fine, and the customer is fined up to $100 the first time, $200 the second and $250 the third.
JUN 03: A politician finally got it right: Sen. Rick Santorum told the Associated Press the following regarding the current upset over sodomy laws. "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."
Why yes, that's exactly it. We do have the right to anything. Any and all of these we have the right to if we are consenting adults. A member of the Senate finally figured it out. We The People do in fact have "rights".
28 JUN 03: Racism is still OK: As if there was any doubt about that. Once again the Supreme Court has decided in favor of racial quotas, just so long as you don't call them quotas.
MAY 03: The War on Drugs (tm): The Office of Management and Budget notes that the DEA "is unable to demonstrate progress in reducing the availability of illegal drugs in the United States".
To that I say "duh".
To that the DEA says it just needs to redefine its accomplishments.
APR 03: South Park lives: From the Anchorage Daily News:
A Danish scout group acknowledged that it "may have crossed the line" by organizing a game of tag in which adults pretending to be Nazis chased children dressed as Jews around a phony concentration camp.
Tell me this doesn't sound like something you would see on South Park? But that is why I love that show.
APR 03: Body mutilation out of control: I have always wondered about this whole body mutilation thing. Piercing and tattoos. Some people say they get them because these modifications are attractive. In other words, you are so ugly that you have to stick pieces of metal thru your face in order to be attractive? Some women have informed me that a pierced tongue enhances her ability to give oral sex to a man. So in other words, your ability to suck a dick sucks so much that you need help to please a man? Is either of these things something to brag about?
But anyway, from the Concord Monitor.
Kimberly Coutier has filed a lawsuit against Costco Wholesale Corp., after being fired for refusing to remove her eyebrow ring. Miss Coutier says that she belong to the Church of Body Modification and wore her eyebrow ring and other piercings as a sign of her faith.
Well then, how about this. The Great One, Himself is now a member of the Church of Bitch-Slapping Stupid People. Don't fuck with me.
APR 03: What they really learn in medical school: From the Phiadelphia Inquirer:
Several of the nation's leading medical schools have announced that they will abandon their decades-old practice of letting students perform pelvic exams on women without their consent while they are under anesthesia.
MAY 03: The War on Drugs (tm) goes on: From the Seattle Times:
Two Tijuana businessmen purchased a Nissan Pathfinder at auction from the U.S. Customs Service. When they attempted to cross the boarder with the truck, Customs discovered 37 pounds of marijuana in a hidden compartment they had missed earlier. The businessmen were arrested, convicted and sentenced to a year in prision.
APR 03: Space program, or space fucking around? With the breakup of the Columbia this gives me the motivation to say a few things about space travel which need to be said.
1. We are not doing any kind of great research up there. We are doing stupid things and playing with experiments sent in by high school children in order to get good PR.
2. The space shuttle is an expensive piece of junk which can not carry enough payload to pay it's way.
3. The space station is even worse. Going in on this thing with other countries was a dumb ass idea.
4. I'm hardly the first to say it, but it's the moonbase stupid. Build a moonbase first, then go from there.
5. Space exploration is not safe. It has never been safe. It will not be safe for a long time. We should be grateful for how few have died exploring space (or fucking away my tax money is space), especially with the government running things.
APR 03: The War on Drugs (tm) update: Michael Thiel and two associates were arrested for cocaine use. On of his associates was busting trying to buy cocaine outside a pizzeria. In his patrol car. Did I mention the three of them are police officers in Harris Township, Pennsylvania? Thiel is a DARE instructor. I've always been under the impression that the pigs don't want the rest of us to get drugs because that means more for them.
APR 03: During his debate with AlGore before he was elected King George II said "If we don't stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, then we're going to have a serious problem coming down the road". Too bad he doesn't take his own advice.
APR 03: The war against tobacco: According to the FBI, Hezbollah (an Islamic terrorist group) has been buying cigarettes in North Carolina, which has low cigarette taxes, and selling them in Michigan, which has high cigarette taxes. The profits are going to support terrorism. So remember, if you buy drugs, you are supporting terrorism. If you pay taxes, you are supporting terrorism. If you impose taxes, you probably are a terrorist.
APR 03: The certainty of taxes: Not only is King George II taxing the hell out of us here in the states, he is also going to tax the hell out of the Iraqies just as soon as he is finished bombing the hell out of them. The King and his advisors have already established a task force to determine what sort of taxes the democratic, free-market Iraq government we create well levy upon its citizens. Hello. We are going to decide what sort of taxes the people in Iraq pay. Hello! Can anyone fucking hear me? Repeat after me: "America is not an imperial power, American is not an imperial power . . . "
APR 03: At least this lefty has the balls to call it like it is. In this months issue of Stuff magazine is an interview with Moby. Amazingly he is one of the few liberals who confesses he is a hypocrite (they all know they are, they just will not owe up). Witness the following questions and answers:
Stuff: Isn't pacifism really only practiced by people who can afford it?
Moby: My pacifism is very much an academic principle. It is very easy to be a pacifist where you're talking about foreign policy and actions of the military 4,000 miles away. If a roving militia came into my house and raped my wife, then killed my kids -- I hate to say this -- my pacifism would most likely fly out the window. One of my biggest problems with liberals -- I mean, I'm pretty lefty -- is that some of them judge the actions and/or lifestyles of other people without actually understanding who those people are.
Stuff: You believe in animal rights, and you're also pro-choice. Are those two beliefs at odds?
Moby: I'm not the brightest person in the world. A few years ago, someone came to me and said, "Don't you think that's hypocritical?" Yes, it is hypocritical. But they're two things that I believe in passionately.
MAR 03: The certainty of taxes: Taxachusetts does it again. The government there has passed a 5% use tax for residents. So now, what ever you buy, no matter where you buy it you have to pay taxes. Does anyone think internet sales taxes are far behind?
MAR 03: Freedom of Speech? The place: A bar near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The time: Just before King George II paid a visit to Sioux Falls. The offender: Richard Humphreys. The offense: "I said God might speak to the world through a burning Bush . . . I thought it was funny at the time." Well, it wasn't funny to the government. This comment landed Richard 37 months in prison.
MAR 03: It would be funny if it were not true department: On December 18th of last year the Seventh Ohio District Court of Appeals in Youngstown, Ohio, ruled that it is constitutionally permissible for police to hide video cameras in public toilets.
MAR 03: Hey dude, got any dope? From the Chicago Sun-Times comes yet another tale of the War On Drugs (TM) in action:
Chicago police arrested Jose Galvan, 43, and his co-worker, Juan Luna, 21, and charged them with felony drug charges for possession of more than $650,000 worth of marijuana. Galvan and Luna claimed that the cargo in their pickup truck was hay for a Roman Catholic Church nativity scene.
Prosecutors dropped felony drug charges after crime lab tests discovered that the marijuana in question was actually hay, said Jerry Lawrence, spokesman for the Cook County state attorneys' office. But the two remained incarcerated at Cook County Jail so federal immigration officals could check to see whether they were in the country legally.
MAR 03: I know a teacher who does this: From the West Midlands, U.K. comes more touchy-feely teaching. This in a dispatch from the BBC: Teachers at a primary school have been told not to mark children's work in red ink because it encourages a "negative approach." In future, pupils will see their mistakes struck through with a green pen.
I know a teacher who subscribes to the theory that red ink will traumatize students if it appears on their paper. I suggest that if you are so mentally weak that red ink will destroy your emotional well-being then maybe you should just stop wasting a desk at school. The world needs janitors too ya know.
MAR 03: The latest from the Big Brother front: Check out http://www.epic.org/privacy/airtravel/foia/foia1.html.
Use of "non-invasive neuro-electric sensor to detect passengers who potentially might pose a threat." What the hell is that? More to the point, does anyone have sufficient English skills to realize that "potentially" and "might" mean essentially the same thing and only one of them should be used?
You can also go to http://www.darpa.mil/iao/index.htm to read about how Total Information Awareness is going to relieve you of your privacy.
MAR 03: Context? What the hell is context? I hate it when quotes are taken out of context in an attempt to change their meaning.
For example, here is one we often see: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." This is of course Thomas Jefferson writing in a letter to William S. Smith. This quote is oft used to justify military action against other countries, such as Iraq. It makes sense. Jefferson is saying we have to kill tyrants in other countries to keep America free. Right? Wrong.
The actual quote is: "And what country can preserve its liberties, if the rulers are not warned from time to time that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let the take up arms. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." If the rulers are not warned . . . that this people . . . Not the people in Iraq, but this people. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure Jefferson is referring to the fact that a people must often rise against unjust leaders, and I'm not seeing where he is exempting the government of the United States. Are you with me here?
FEB 03: Public Education Strikes Again: According to the National Geographic Society in a group of Americans ages 18 to 24 (I don't know how large this group is, or where they were found - yet again illustrating the problem with statistics) only 13% could find Iraq on a map. All is not lost however as a full 17% of them could find Afghanistan. I feel safer already.
FEB 03: We Have No Common Sense: In Waterford School District a student was suspended for posting "intimidation and threats" on the website "Satan's Web Page." Thankfully a U.S. District Court judge has ruled that the school was on crack at the time. "One would think that most intelligent adults would realize this was satire, given that the website was allegedly written by Satan." So the students attorney told the court. Of course, since where were intelligent adults involved in public education?
FEB 03: He Learned It In College: From the San Francisco Chronicle: "Berkeley mayor Tom Bates is facing prosecution for stealing newspapers that endorsed his opponent the day before the election." I fail to see what the problem is. Having read numerous accounts of college campus activist groups stealing and destroying college papers for publishing something not on the P.C Approved List we have to ask -- isn't Bates just applying his education to the real world?
FEB 03: The Why Didn't I Say This Department: "The SUV is the Windows of the automotive world -- an inferior product that has achieved market dominance in its niche by relying on the ignorance of the buying public. For, as H.L. Mencken memorable put it, 'Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.'"
FEB 03: You Cast Your Lot: The whining over Trent Lott is never going to stop is it? What I find amazing is that for Lott (a Republican) to mention that Strom Thurmond (a Republican now, a Dixiecrat (Democrat) at the time) was/is a racist is evil. For Thurmond to be a racist is perfectly acceptable. No one seems to be mentioning that aspect of things. Let us also not forget Senator Robert Byrd (Democrat) who was once a dragon in the KKK. What do we learn from this? Being racist is acceptable. Calling a racist a racist is wrong, if the racist is a Democrat. And aren't they all?
FEB 03: So in 1997 voters in Seattle passed a tax on the purchase of automobile license plates. In 2002 the voters abolished the very same tax. Yet, the government continues to collect it. Why? Because the 2002 law conflicts with the 1997 law and the government doesn't know which one is final. Wow... Think of the ramifications. "But officer, cocaine use to be legal. I know they passed a law saying it isn't, but I was confused about which law is final."
JAN 03: 1984 London is one of the most watched cities in the world. There are cameras all over the place. Including in the public transportation busses of all places. What is even more amazing, the seem to be proud of this. Or at the very least, content with it. At Samizdata.net you can see photos of the posters with colourful saying such as "Secure beneath the watchful eyes" and showing giant eyes in the sky watching a double-decker red London bus driving over a bridge. These people are living in 1984.
NOV 02: The War on Drugs (tm) as reported by the AP: "Police arrested nine current and former McIntosh College students on drug charges Tuesday, as the city police chief said he was pushing federal prosecutors to seize, under federal drug forfeiture laws, a college dorm where most of the suspects lived." This is great, and when someone in your apartment complex
NOV 02: Indianaola, Iowa -- from the AP: "Jon Carl Petersen, 41, was arrested Tuesday after driving with a blood alcohol level more than twice the legal limit as he chased and threatened with a gun a group of teenagers who had thrown toilet paper at his house. Petersen will be allowed to carry a weapon and continue his duties as head of the Iowa office of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms." I mean really. Do I even need to comment on this?
NOV 02: I always get shit from the idiots when I say that "once they've taken our cigarettes and our guns they will come for something else." Of course the liberals always insist they are going to stop after those two objectives and besides, they are only doing it for my own good. But then along come idiots like Tom Farley of the Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropic Medicine who say things like "I want to get to the point where people are in the hallway and see a vending machine and say, 'That's bad, that shouldn't be there,' in the same way as if they saw a cigarette vending machine." Of course they will stop after they take away the guns and cigarettes. Oh, and the junk food and . . . . . . Yes get ready for the next "War on _______", the War on Fat (tm). Oh well, at least I will be able to dodge that bullet.
6 NOV 02: Well, the Republicans have "taken the nation by storm." What actually happened was that slightly more stupid people voted for Republicans than voted for Democrats. Still, it's highly amusing. There are a number of really fun things here.
First of course, all the newspapers here in the People's Republic of Fort Collins (PRFC) have been harping loud & far about how dangerous conservatives are, and how the liberal candidates are our only hope. The editorial boards at both the "real" newspaper and the college paper have been drooling all over the Democrats
OCT 02: Sometimes in the War On Drugs (tm) you have to burn the forest to save the forest as reported by the Associate Press: "Firefighters make progress Wednesday as they fought to corral a wildfire east of San Diego that forced dozens of resident to evacuate. The blaze started July 29 when a national Guard helicopter clipped a power line during a search for marijuana plants in the rugged, isolated area. The 53,200-acre fire had destroyed 22 homes."
OCT 02: From the Seattle Times: "The anti-terrorism package passed by the House includes $2 million for the Smithsonian Institution to buttress security of thousand of animal specimens stored in inflammable alcohol." I feel safer already.
OCT 02: President George Bush to Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso: ". . . do you have blacks too?" Wow, our leader in this time of war and crisis is really up on things. Yes George, they do have black people in other countries. They are not exclusive to the U.S.
OCT 02: So, we have destroyed the government in Afghanistan and replaced it with a puppet government which we will have to support with weapons, troops and money. And we wonder why "they" hate us.
We are gearing up to invade another Islamic state because it has "weapons of mass destruction" and might use them in the future -- even tho we don't bother to invade non-Islamic countries who have weapons of mass destruction and might use them in the future. And we wonder why they hate us.
SEP 02: James "Munky" Shatter in an interview with Metal Hammer magazine spouted out this nonsense regarding the afterlife. "I think this is true -- Hitler went to heaven. I think that if what you feel you're doing is right in your heart, then you can't be wrong."
My first analysis: Touchy-feely has gone too far.
My second analysis: So it's a good thing for me to kill all you stupid people after all. I feel much better now about my plan to create an airborne virus that will only kill humans and spread rapidly.
OCT 02: Nevada's November ballot will include an initiative to legalize possession of up to three ounces of marijuana for adults over 21. The Nevada Conference of Police and Sheriffs has endorsed the initiative. That at least is good news. I imagine this initiative will no survive the propaganda attacks of the drug warriors, who we should note, don't actually have to leave their offices and fight said "war."
SEP 02: Racial profiling strikes again, this time in Chandler, Arizona as reported by The Nation: "Scores of U.S.-born Hispanics have sued the city of Chandler after they were arrested during a sweep of illegal immigrants. Police approached people on the street based on the "lack of personal hygiene" and "strong body odor common to illegal aliens" and asked to se ID and immigration papers.
17 SEP 02: The Danbury Mint send me an advertisement for the Twin Towers Commemorative. "A tribute to America's proud and indomitable spirit..." Send no money now, payable in two convenient monthly installments of $39.50. "Representing the very essence of this American spirit of freedom and achievement were the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. There is no greater tribute to the resilience of our national soul than these two majestic towers captured in all their original magnificence." Wow, what a huge load of bullshit. But then it's all about making a profit. Interesting how the WTC use to be a symbol of American greed and excess. Now it seems the WTC was really a church.
AUG 02: In this months issue of Stuff magazine Alizia Gutierrez is interviewed for Stuff's $4,999 scholarship. Behold further evidence that public and college education is a failure:
Stuff: You have a Japanese fighting fish called Raven. Wouldn't that be like me giving my beloved pet llama the name of Piggy?
Alizia: Why? What the hell's a raven?
Stuff: You named your fish after a bird.
Alizia: I had no idea!
Ok, now granted she is going to the University of Central Oklahoma, and her future goal is "maybe accounting" yet I have to ask -- how the hell do you make it all the way to college without knowing the fuck a raven is? As we would say in Texas "get a rope."
AUG 02: "Pardon me for taking a simplistic view of the matter, but in 1989, Osama bin Laden had left Afghanistan and was back running the family construction business. It was U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia in 1991 that motivated him to get back in the business of killing infidels." -- Gene Healy. Gosh, and all this time I thought it was because he hates freedom.
31 JUL 02: Bush has signed a corporate reform law. "No more easy money for corporate criminals. Just hard time." Naturally the government is exempt. Just why should CEOs go to jail for running their business the way politicians run the government?
10 JUL 02: Bush is going to "expose and punish acts of corruption." Will he be starting in the White House?
12 JUN 02: Flashback to early May and coach Tom Collen. Well, turns out he did indeed have two master's degrees. It was the registrar's office that screwed up when Vanderbilt called for his records. So now this is even a greater disgrace to higher education. Not only is he too dumb to know how many degrees he has, the people working in the registrar's office at where he got the degrees (Miami of Ohio, where ever that may be) are so dumb they screwed this up.
Granted, he is an idiot for not defending himself, but still I'm thinking he should be laying the smackdown on this college that screwed him over. The job at Vanderbilt is gone, they hired someone else. Now is got nothing. Of course he will survive. Still, as ass kicking is in order here.
3 MAY 02: Tom Collen has resigned from the job at Vanderbilt University. He was given a choice. Resign or be fired. Seems that he lied on his resume, claiming to have two maser's degrees when he only has one. "I didn't become aware of that until Vanderbilt called asking for my transcripts. I honestly thought I had two master's degrees." Here we see just how effective higher education is. This guy doesn't even have a clue how many degrees he has. How can you be that dumb? Don't they give you a piece of paper or something? Can't you just look at the wall, see how many degrees are hanging there and count them? How hard can this be? Indeed it looks like higher education does not work.
2 MAY 02: Tom Collen, CSU women's basketball head coach accepted an offer to take a similar position at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN.
1 MAY 02: Mark Helperin in the 22 APR edition of National Review puts the "war" in Afghanistan in perspective: "With the support of virtually every nation in the world, the United States went in on the side of one of two exhausted combatants locked in stalemate in open country devastated by years of war and starvation. The enemy fought without allies, supply, modern weapons, communication, intelligence, cover or control of the air." Wow, when you put it that way it sure makes me proud to be an American.
24 APR 02: In Washington D.C. a congressional committee meet to hear testimony from experts regarding education spending. Amongst those testifying: Elmo. Yes, Elmo. The muppet for "Sesame Street." Our government is taking financial advice from a fucking puppet. Members of Congress, so called grown adults, are talking to a fucking puppet as they debate how much of my money to take from me and waste on public education. God help me keep the safety on.
22 APR 02: On 18 APR the wymen "took back the night". On 19 APR two women were assaulted in two different incidents. Looks like the wymen didn't do a very good job of taking back the night. Maybe if Mystic Vagina would have played one more set, or if they had burned one more bra, or maybe chatted for 5 more minutes. Or maybe if we just taught them how to take care of themselves. My god, what am I saying? I am such a pig. A woman, defend herself? I'm so disgusting.
But seriously, looks like taking back the night didn't do much good. Which is what I keep saying, which is why I think these women are idiots. They accomplished nothing at all. Nothing. They are just too dumb to know it.
19 APR 02: These "Take Back The Night" things just drive me nuts. "One of the main pillars of our organization is inclusiveness" said Sara Styer, co-chair of Campus Women's Alliance here at CSU. That is why they had separate rallies for the "men" and the women.
The women's rally featured a band called "Mystic Vagina". Wow. Very, um, impressive.
"Robbery victims don't have a problem coming forward, I want someday for the equal protection of our justice system to cover victims of sexual assault." I'm not sure that is a sentence, however Anne Munch, the director of Ending Violence Against Women Project, said it anyway. I'm pretty sure that rape is against the law, and I'm pretty sure that the men who commit rape have their names & faces plastered all over the place while the women who get raped are protected. I'm also pretty sure that the men who rape women get easy sentences or get out early on parole because of liberal democrat politicians and judges. Just like the ones that Sara and Anne vote for.
16 APR 02: A quote from someone attending the Holocaust Survivor's Panel: "My daughter is Jewish, my wife is Jewish, and I think it is important that she understand her cultural identity and everything related to the Holocaust."
I think it's important that people stop defining their whole existence on one facet of the past. We have two groups out there who constantly focus on the negative (the Holocaust and slavery) and use it daily as an excuse why they can't be expected to conduct themselves to the same standards as the rest of the world.
15 APR 02: It is Holocaust Awareness Week. This pisses me off on so many levels I can hardly think straight. Of course, so of you would say I never think straight.
I'm sick of Jews whining "Hitler put us in concentration camps". Shut the hell up. Like you are the only people in history to be put in concentration camps. POWs get put in camps, America put Japanese and Indians (Native Americans for the PC crowd) in camps. The Japanese put Koreans in camps. The Soviet Union put almost everyone in camps. Further more it's not like the Jews were the only one persecuted by the Nazis. The homosexuals and gypsies were in there keeping you company. But why is it that the Jews are the only ones who keep whining about it year after year, day after day, hour after hour. Anytime a Jew does something stupid (can we just mention the entire foreign policy of Israel) and get criticized the world is subjected to some long whine session about The Holocaust.
Just for the record, the number killed:
Communist deaths, 100M (million)
Mao 1994, 60m to 80M
WWII total, 45M
Taiping Rebellion, 30M
Stalin (hero of college professors) Purge / Famines, 30M
Mao Tse Tung / Famines, 30M
Chinese killed by Japanese in Rape of Nanking, 20M to 30M
Spanish decline of Incas, 20M to 30M
Jewish Holocaust rolls in at a whimpy 6M, and that is counting the homosexuals and gypsies so they can inflate the numbers.
My point, stop your whining. You would think Jews are the only people in history who have been killed by someone else.
Also, lets talk about "The Holocaust". I just adore how Jews have taken over the word holocaust, made it into a proper noun and attached it to their cause. Yea, you got screwed over. So have lots of people. It's time to grow up, get over it and move on. I know I'm not suppose to say this, I know you are offended, but I don't care.
"The Holocaust refers to a specific historic event where the Nazi govenment deliberately and systemically persecuted and attempted to annihilate the Jewish people." So says Hedy Berman, director of Hillel (I don't have a clue what that is either.) Actually my dictionary says a holocaust is 1. an offering the whole of which is burned; burnt offering 2 great or total destruction of life, esp. by fire.
12 APR 02: One of my favorite comics is Non Sequitur by Wiley (www.non-sequitur.com). They are most always good, but today's made a great point.
The radio host Joe is taking a phone call and the caller says "Why do we need the new homeland security office? Isn't homeland security the reason we spend about a half-trillion dollars on the military, C.I.A and F.B.I.?"
Naturally this is followed by dead air. Makes ya wonder tho. Why do we need the office of homeland security? What have we been spending all that money for?
28 MAR 02: Here in Colorado, over at Greeley's University of Northern Colorado (UNC) the intramural basketball team has make world news, and make a stand. In order to protest the abuse of Native Americans (the same ones the government killed and sent to reservations, which apparently is an ok thing to do) by naming sports teams after them has taken the name The Fightin' Whites. What they didn't count on, as they are stupid, is that this might be cool. Seems lots of people want Fightin' Whites shirts and other apparel.
Currently they are "targeting" Eaton High School because it is close to Greeley (after all they don't want to have to travel very far) and one of the best places to make change (it's a small school in a small town with limited resources and money to defend itself). What they should be targeting is getting a life.
21 FEB 02: More evidence that sending you child to college is a waste of money as they are too stupid to learn. In response to the question "Who would you put in your personal Axis of Evil?" Kristen Olson responded "Afghanistan would be one. I don't want to offend anyone but I would say Iraq and the U.S. Capitalism sucks!" Now if she thinks capitalism sucks I got no problem with that, but . . . Kristen's major is (are you ready) business. Yea, she is going places.
13 FEB 02: So I'm reading this book called "The Smoking Gun" which is documents which are funny, shocking or strange about famous people and such as that. In here are two letters regarding Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris. These letters are probation reports written just weeks before Columbine and are very positive regarding these bright young men.
About Dylan: "If he is able to tap his potential and become self motivated he should do well in life."
About Eric: "He is intelligent enough to achieve lofty goals as long as he stays on task and remains motivated."
Now the question we must ask ourselves: Were these kids really full of such potential? Were they justified in going on a killing spree at Columbine, or were the people who wrote these reports simply totally full of shit? I have an opinion, but I'll let you decide for yourself.
12 FEB 02: The FBI has issued another warning. "Terrorist attacks may be imminent." I'm not scared. King George II will protect me.
8 FEB 02: Jeff Skiling, a Enron executive, has testified in court that he is unable to recall key events surrounding the off-the-books partnership arrangements that sent his company into a death spiral. In other words, management is incompetent and has no clue what is going on. I have been saying this for years.
5 FEB 02: King George II has submitted his budget and we are going to cough up an additional $48 billion for defense and $38 billion for "homeland defense". Which makes me wonder what the hell our defence has been defending all this time?
3 FEB 02: We are going to get bin Laden any day now. We are this close.
FEB 02: In late 2001 Sissonville High in West Virginia barred 15 year old Katie Sierra from starting an Anarchy Club. I guess the atheist club felt threatened. Katie handed out leaflets to other students asking them to join anyway. So she go suspended for 3 more days. Better yet, Katie also chose to wear a shirt to school with the handwritten message "When I saw the dead and dying Afghani children on TV, I felt a newly recovered sense of national security. God Bless America." Katie now telecommutes to school.
1 FEB 02: Scare tactics are at work again. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld hath spoke it so. On the subject of these upcoming attacks (which he is protecting us from by getting rid of all those nasty civil liberties) he said "These attacks could grow vastly more deadly than those we suffered." But wait. . . So you are saying that even after all the government has done since 11 SEP we could still be attacked and it would be even worse? So you are saying that all the government countermeasures are totally ineffective? Hey, we actually agree on something.
In the Philippines U.S. troops and special forces are training Filipino soldiers to fight Muslim extremist (I am not making this up) just like U.S. troops and special forces trained Osama bin Laden to fight the Soviets. I'm the only one who can figure this out aren't I?
Once again, request for further investigation of who killed who during the Columbine incident has been shot down by the government. Someone has a whole lot to hide here don't they?
25 JAN 02: Headline: Study shows above average substance use among CSU students. Well duh. It's Colorado and winter. You pretty much have two options: Ski or drink. Ok, you can ski & drink. . .
24 JAN 02: The family of Daniel Rohrbough is still trying to find out if Denver Police Sgt. Dan O'Shea killed their son, only they wont be finding out any time soon. U.S. District Judge Lewis T. Babcock refused to reconsider the case. Best of all is the reason. Seems it doesn't really matter because even if O'Shea did kill Rohrbough there is nothing that could be done about it because he is protected by governmental immunity. I've always said the pigs can just randomly kill people and get away with it. I don't know if I'm happy to be proven right or not.
22 JAN 02: A baby killing doctor in the Peoples Republic of Boulder (where else) has compared Gov. Bill Owens to the Taliban. Why? Because the state Health Department is going to cut funding to Planned Parenthood. Said Dr. Warren Hern "Governor Owens has brought the spirit of the Taliban to Colorado. If women ae not free to make decisions about their own bodies and reproductive decisions, how are they free?" Hern neglected to mention how exactly his organization not getting money from the government affects the ability of a woman to decide whether or not to have sex, nor did he mention how this affects her ability to get birth control, nor did he mention that the funding was cut off because his organization was breaking the law. But then I guess none of those things are as important as baby killing with state funds. Maybe I just need to get my priorities straight.
21 JAN 02: It amazes me to no end how the government manipulates words, and how you people go along with it. So this is a "war" on terrorism, yet the prisoners at Camp X-Ray are not being treated according to the Geneva Convention (not that I'm a huge fan of everything in the Geneva Convention, but still). If it's a "war", which I know full well it isn't, then at least act like it's a war.
Columbine revisited: The parents of Daniel Rohrbough want to know who shot & killed him. Was it Klebold or Harris or the police? I think this is a fair question, yet the government is dodging left & right. Jefferson County Coroner Carl Blesch has turned down a request by the D.A. to convene an inquest into Daniel's death. I notice the police have been spending a lot of time trying to distract the public from their poor performance in this whole situation. That makes it look all the more fishy to me.
17 JAN 02: K-Mart is going under they say. Will the feds step in? Will there be an investigation? Does King George II have any friends working at K-Mart?
Meanwhile: Other good stuff. I'm sure you are all up to date on things. Thomas Franklin took a photo of 3 firefighters raising an American flag at the WTC, or what's left of it, or some such thing. So the marketing people decided to create a statue based on this image to honor the firefighters who died trying to save others. Sound good. But wait, multiculteralism strikes again. You see, the 3 men are all white. Not to mention they are men. Naturally, the usual idiots are upset about this. It just isn't fair you know. No women, no "people of colour", no "differently abled" people. Life is just so unfair. I can't wait to see what sort of joke the statue turns out to be. I doubt that anyone will have the balls to put up a statue of 3 white men, especially in this day & age.
Major crisis (this is a bad day huh?) In Greeely a high school principal pinched a 44 year old woman on the buttocks. Being as women are equal and can take care of themselves she whined like a baby and now he is in trouble. Are these the same women who want to go to combat? Besides, she's 44. She's been over the hill for 21 years. She should be happy the guy was drunk enough to mistake her for something worth making physical contact with.
16 JAN 02: Enron. So what? Every time a business goes belly up it's going to be a national crisis now? WTF?
14 JAN 02: King George II dodged an assassination attempt today as an Afghan pretzel attempted to lodge in his throat while watching the Baltimore and Miami football game. He passed out, hit the floor, but recovered soon. Wow... for a brief moment there.... no one was in control. Mommy... I'm scared.
23 DEC 01: America today installed a puppet government (or at least Prime Minister) in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai took the oath of office and promised a "mission of peace" in public, and to kiss American ass in private, like bin Laden (remember when he was our friend & we gave him money and weapons and training?) I wonder how long until Karzai bites us in the ass?
Meanwhile, King George II wants $15 billion to "defend the homeland". How 'bout we defend it for free by not pissing off people all 'round the world?
14 DEC 01: News flash. "Some 300,000 Americans a year die from illnesses caused or worsened by obesity" from a AP article. Really? And I thought tobacco was responsible for all death. Once tobacco is gone from the world I wonder what the next target of the health fascist is going to be.....
On the subject of dead Americans, bin Laden released his "Live From A Cave" video today. He mentioned that he is happy 'bout all them dead New Yorkers.
SEP 01: Californian has the "world's largest complement of solar-electric cells" and get 30% of it's energy from hydropower. California also has the only "energy crisis" in the United States. Gotta make you wonder.
24/Sep/2001 18:24: Ya know what scares me more than terrorist? People who want limit my freedom so th will feel safe from terrorist. It's the average idiot American citizen that I'm afraid of, not a terrorist.
AUG 02: Here we are, yet again, and I have to wonder why I just don't kill everyone else on the planet. After all, you people are about so worthless and stupid. Every time you breath my IQ drops simply by inhaling the same oxygen you exhale. But anyhowz, on the current reasons for my desire to create a virus that will kill everyone under 25 years old. Of course, I also want to create a virus that will kill everyone over 25. Actually, I just want to kill all of you. You are shocked I know. Just shocked.
We just managed to survive black history month and I have amassed a backlog of stupidity like you wouldn't believe. Most of it has been culled from the Collegian, but the local Fort Collins rag and stupid people around the world have also taken the liberty to contribute. Also, I decided the hell with that idea about linking to coloums at the Collegian web page. If you wanna read 'em, go over there and find 'em yourself. What? I look like your butler? I got a square, I got a brewski, Love & Rockets is in the CD player and a porn flick is in the VCR. Let's get on with it.
Someone did a check on 80 recent police hired by the Denver P.D. Sixty-five percent of them, 52, confessed to prior drug use. In contrast, only about 50% of 18 to 34 year olds admit to having used an illegal the drug. The best and the brightest, to serve and protect. Actually, I think it's more a case of "if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em". After all, now they can get drugs and money from the dealers they bust. Who is gonna believe an evil pusher over a saintly police office? In 2000 the Denver P.D. made over 6,600 drug arrest. Gotta keep the supply lines open.
On the subject of pigs, and as a nice transition to dumb college kids, how 'bout this one. In Ohio the state Liquor Control Commission had made the world safer. As of August 9, 2000 persons planning to throw a party which will feature five or more kegs of beer must register with the state five days in advance. Yes, you read that correctly. Five or more kegs -- you must register with the government. And what does this registration consist of? Glad you ask. You must disclose the party's address and grant a general right of entry to the police, conveniently circumventing that nasty clause in the Fourth Amendment about unreasonable search and seizure. The sheep don't seem to be fighting back that I'm aware of. Oh, the ACLU is looking into it, but that leaves something to be desired. The local college students have determined that they can circumvent the law easy enough by breaking their keg orders into groups of four. Imagine that? Which brings us to college kids.
Many of you ask me (and you do ask me): "Great One, how come you make so much fun of college kids. How come you waste time reading their stuff and responding to it. You hardly ever respond to the newspapers and you will not even use Time & Newsweek to wipe your ass."
This is all true, and here is why. "Real reporters" know they are liberals, they know they are lying, they know they are propping up the system. Telling a "real reporter" he is a liberal, stupid, piece of shit is like telling a Grand Dragon of the KKK he is racist. No shit? Really?
College kids on the other had are still living in a dream world. Daddy is paying their bills. They have never had to live under the current laws, much less the ones they want to enact. They have never had to pay taxes while trying to raise a family. They are clueless. However, in their minds they are the saviors of the future. They are going to chance things. They are going to make it all better. They are "The Future". In fact, they are idiots. I spend so much time on college kids because they are like little puppies. All sweat and innocent and naive. And I love the expression on their faces when I kick the shit out of them. I love the expression when they find out the pissing on the floor has a consequence.
So, let me put on my steel toe boots and get to work.
A while back L'Shawn Lyle wrote a piece in the Collegian in which she stated basically that race is cultural. Here example was of an African child raised in Japan. The child would be Japanese, regardless of the colour of his skill. This is one of the few intelligent things to come out of a college student, but naturally, this means that it wasn't a popular idea.
Enter Millete Birhanemaskel (we will call here Milly). Milly doesn't like the idea of eliminating the word "race" from the world. Of course, most black people don't like that idea, as race is all they have going for them. Take Milly for example. She is stupid, ugly, dumb, and we shall soon see she can not write and she is a technical journalism major. Yea, we need more of those. Like most idiots, Milly can't tell the difference between facts and emotions. Milly tells us that children "will describe things as blatant as they appear." Her example being: "Mommy's black and daddy's white." Yes, but this is simply a fact. For a child to notice that mommy and daddy are different colours is simply a physical fact. Milly is implying that children are going to take it to the next level and conclude that this is evil, or that all black people are criminals, or that all white people are oppressors or some other nonsense. Not true. The children get those ideas from idiots like Milly.
Oh, and Milly has found another vast right wing conspiracy. Spell checkers mark Afro-centric names as misspelled. Well gosh, today my spell checker didn't know 'Charlie' was a name. Hey Milly, that's why you have the 'add word' button on there.
Lyle had commented before about how she is not regarded as a "real black person (TM)" by other black people because she can not speak ebonics. (Oh, evil, my spell checker just highlighted ebonics.) Milly's response: "L'Shawn -- girrrl -- what for you be trippin'!" She goes on to say that ebonics has its time and place. Apparently, she thinks its place is here in an op-ed piece.
Milly brings it all home with this deep question, designed to throw a monkey wrench into the works. Designed to make us all realize that she is right. Designed to make us all re-examine our ways and repent our sins. "do you think that before black people were denied their voting rights in Florida they election officials first asked if they grew up in Boulder?" This is really deep and all, but since no one was denied anything in Florida it doesn't really mean anything. If you are too stupid to push a piece of metal thru a piece of paper you should not be voting.
Lyle wrote a response to this stupidity where she explained (in very small words) the difference between having a skin colour and being judged as a person verses having a skin colour and being judged by that colour. Needless to say, I doubt anyone got it the second time around.
College kids learn fast. Aisha Simmons (political science major, certificate in African-American studies -- what does that tell you) has come to an amazing conclusion about the "uh... Reverend Jackson". "I cannot trust this man to lead my people into a better way of life, because I have no way of knowing he will always choose me. If he can throw away his family so quickly, why not us also?" Duh. But have you ever considered that maybe you are the stupid one for waiting for someone else to "lead" you to a "better way of life"? If you are too lazy to find it yourself, maybe you don't deserve it.
19:03 04-Jan-00: How 'bout that Y2K scam? I hope those of you who went out & bought new computers & software feel as stupid as you are. Here in Fort Collins even the phones kept working. If US West can get thru this, anyone can.
21:19 30-Nov-99: My landlord sent me a bill for electricity. For 26 cents. It cost 33 cents to mail it to me. Do I really have to explain this to you? If so, please kill yourself.
A mass grave was found in Mexico today and they want to dig it up. It's just a bunch of drug related murders. I have a better idea, lets arrange it so no one ever kills over drugs again. Leagalize them. Oh wait... but then the DEA couldn't break down doors & kill people. Damn, always a catch.
08:30 07-Nov-99: With the downed airplanes & the shootings have you ever seen the media happier? My god those sick bastards are taking this one all the way. Get ready for the new calls for gun control & airplane regulation. In a related note Janet Reno (dumb bitch) the other day on CNN said "Guns kill." How dumb is this woman. I think the rest of us knew that guns kill a long time ago. That is what weapons are for. Someone please kill this bitch.
17:39 14-Oct-99: I read a letter in the 8 Oct Mirror. Apparently this individual has just discovered that you can access porn on the computer in the UNC compter commons. Ah.... the end of civilization looms near. He is surprised that people would be using the computer at UNC to look at naked women. Well duh. Good thing those students at UNC are experiencing the real world & not living in a vacume. (that is sarcasim by the way)