Wuhan Hoax Response

We know these are difficult times for everyone but we are all in this together*. Here are some of the ways the Cynical Libertarian Society is working around the clock to help flatten the curve and keep you safe from Wuhan Virus.

1. The Cynical Libertarian Society is closely monitoring the airports to see if they are closed down. In the event of a real pandemic (do you even know what is a pandemic?) the first thing you do is shut down airports to prevent the spread of the disease. When the airports are shut down the Cynical Libertarian Society will entertain the idea that a pandemic might be taking place.

2. The Cynical Libertarian Society is conducting a visual inspection of each trash truck picking up garbage (aka the process of keeping society sanitary and operational) to determine if any of these trash trucks are operated by women (strong independent fish-bicycle single mothers can do anything girlboss I don’t know how I got pregnant I must have been taken up by space aliens and impregnated with a squid tentacle) or if in fact it’s men who are doing all the real work.

3. The Cynical Libertarian Society is monitoring Wuhan attributed deaths in Larimer County here in the Soviet sector of Colorado to see if any one who isn’t a woman over the age of 70 dies from Wuhan Virus.

4. The Great One, Himself has created the Wuhan Productivity Plan to help you deal with excessive “free” time in your life so you don’t just sit around getting fat and become useless.  There is no such thing as “free time” there is only time and even now you are dying.  Do something with your life.  The Wuhan Productivity Plan is free even though you should be paying for it.  That’s how much The Great One cares about you.

5. In an effort to personally mitigate the effects of Wuhan Virus The Great One, Himself is taking the following actions:

  • Openly laughing at people who think they can block a virus from infecting them by tying a bandanna around their face as if they are going to rob a stagecoach.
  • Approaching any girls that are a 5 or better to find out if they’d like to violate social distancing together.
  • Despising boomers more than ever before and suggesting to any boomers he encounters that considering how much they love abortion (murdering babies) and doctor assisted euthanasia (murdering people older and/or sicker than them) perhaps it’s time they fully embrace their death cult, die and get the fuck out of the way of progress.
  • Telling people the phrase “flatten the curve” is a white nationalist dog whistle that really means reducing immigration to the United States.

You can stay updated on the Wuhan Hoax by following the fagtag Wuhan Hoax on the Twitterverse.

* We are not “in this together” if any of the following apply to you:
  • You think cosplaying as a stage coach robber will prevent a virus from infecting you.
  • You support open boarders.
  • You ever have or ever will vote Democrat.
  • Until the Wuhan Hoax kicked in you were not familiar with washing your hands.
  • Until the Wuhan Hoax kicked in you were not familiar with surface disinfection.
  • Until the Wuhan Hoax kicked in you were not familiar with taking off your shoes when you go in the house.
  • Until the Wuhan Hoax kicked in you were not familiar with staying home when you are sick.
  • You think no price is too great to pay for saving even one life.
  • You are willing to give up your freedom for safety.
  • You think the government can provide you with safety.
  • You think the government cares about you.
  • You have ever described single mothers as “strong and independent.”
  • You are a femistatist.
  • You are a white knight.
  • You think women should vote, own property, sign contracts, have jobs or go to college.
  • You are a boomer.
  • You panic purchased anything. If you had to panic purchase that means you were not prepared for at least two weeks of chaos and that means you and I are not on the same team and that means you and I are not “in this together” because you are an idiot who doesn’t understand you are responsible for yourself which means you are a burden on me which means we are not “in this together” you parasitical lazy fuckwit.

Wuhan Porn:

Wuhan Infographic Datapack.

https://informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/covid-19-coronavirus-infographic-datapack/

Johns Hopkins black map with REALLY BIG RED CIRCLES.

https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html

The CDC Wuhan website. Easily the most useless of all Wuhan porn sites.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

Soviet Socialist Republic of Colorado Wuhan porn site.

https://covid19.colorado.gov/

Larimer County (location of the People’s Republic of Fort Kollins in the Soviet Sector) Wuhan porn. Take note of the low death rate. Be sure to pay attention to the sex and age of the people who are dying.

https://www.larimer.org/health/communicable-disease/coronavirus-covid-19